Jailbait
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Jailbait
from the Things Men Have Said To Me Instead Of Hello collection
Acrylic, spray paint, rhinestones, lace, vintage jewellery, beads, embroidery floss, acrylic resin on vintage canvas, framed in gilded wood.
Things Men Have Said To Me Instead Of Hello
I go into detail about what this collection is all about on the collection overview page, but if you haven’t seen that you can read the description in the accordion below - click the + sign.
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If you have spent any time in my company over the last six to eight months, you will have heard me talk about my latest collection, Things Men Have Said To Me Instead Of Hello.
The collection comprises 10 pieces inspired by things actual men said to me instead of hello during a period of online dating in my mid-thirties. I took screenshots of the most heinous, graphic, and creepy openers and, although at the time I wasn’t sure what I was saving them for, the idea for this collection arrived a few years later.
The purpose of bringing these ‘greetings’ (if you can call them that) into the light is not to demonise men, and paint them as predatory monsters in contrast to the delicate saintliness of women *eyeroll*. It’s to open the floor for discussions about the patriarchal waters we are all swimming in, perpetuate, and, to a greater or lesser degree, are complicit in.
I want to provoke discussions about rape culture, the male gaze, beauty standards etc etc, and explore all the ways in which we all benefit or are hindered by the status quo. Most importantly, I want you to join me in the horrified realisation of how NORMAL we’ve made all of these things.
When I’ve told people about this collection, the responses from women and men are vastly different. The women know immediately what I’m referring to, and usually respond with some related (horror) story, delivered in the blasé manner of someone who has been dealing with this shit her whole life (because she has).
The men on the other hand, range from absolutely horrified, to knowing stuff like this happens but only in an abstract kinda way, to (on one memorable occasion) asking me if any of the ‘Men’ I’m referring to have ever mentioned my “great tits” - I kid you not.
I’m not going to go into all of the ways that the patriarchy is a problem for men as much as it is a problem for women (and I’m aware that I’m leaning into the gender binary here for simplicity’s sake, but really it’s a problem for ALL of us), but suffice to say that we can’t make things better unless we can see, identify, and name the problem.
This collection is my contribution to bringing these open secrets into the light.
Jailbait
This is the first piece I’m sharing (outside of studio visits), and I thought it would be fun to talk you through some of the symbolism and design choices I made for this piece.
What’s the problem?
First of all, let’s address why this seemingly innocuous statement is so problematic. Firstly, whilst ages of consent around the world vary from 12 to 21, 16 years old is very much a child in my book, especially when the man in question is considerably older.
Secondly, the devaluing of older (and by older, society seems to peg this at anything over 25) women and the glorification of the young and fertile (and easy to manipulate) is disgustingly prevalent in modern Western society, meaning that thirdly, this man (and many others like him) genuinely thought robbing me of 18 years of life and experience and wisdom in favour of a youthful appearance was a compliment. Again, not his fault per se - the patriarchy is the true villain here.
This kind of statement is why beauty is a multi-billion dollar industry. It’s why every single woman I know views and judges her own beauty through the eyes of the average man. It’s one of the biggest reasons why we’re all so fucking exhausted and distracted all the damn time!
About the piece
So, with all that being said, I wanted this piece to give you a visceral idea of what a sixteen year old girl IS. I even wanted it to look like it could have been made by one, with the cute, rounded, rhinestone lettering and the alphabet bead friendship bracelet (I felt very vindicated when I met my best friend’s 16 year-old daughter and she was wearing a bracelet just like this one!)
I chose the dolphin charm for the bracelet because whilst dolphins are often used to symbolise joy, emotional intelligence, and playfulness, in real life they’re actually pretty rapey. I felt that juxtaposition was a good fit for this piece.
Behind the text, I wanted to give a hint of something more sinister - hence the acid yellow blurring into that innocent candy pink.
The lace around the border brings to mind the flouncy, little-girl bedrooms (canopy beds!) that teenage girls often have - caught in the moment between childhood and adulthood.
All of the pieces in this collection are framed in these heavy, gilded, vintage frames - because we elevate the words of men, even when they’re at their most crass and vulgar. This frame is one of the most fucked up - it’s chipped and cracked, the gilt is dropping off, it’s full of old woodworm holes. If the sort of man who preys on teenage girls was a picture frame, he would be this picture frame!
The candy pink beads in the corners also add to that little-girl vibe, but I like how they’re also a bit penis-y - thrusting into the picture plane from the corners. So gross!
Finally, the charm at the bottom of the piece is turquoise - a stone used for protection. I’ve included it here as a spell to protect all teenage girls - past, present, and future (my younger self included) - against the men who wish to possess them, dominate them, or do them harm.
You can see the rest of the pieces in this collection below.
