The Void
Hate reading? Click the play button below to hear me read this to you:
The Void
from the Things Men Have Said To Me Instead Of Hello collection
Acrylic paint and acrylic stones on vintage canvas, framed in lacquered wood with gilded beading.
Things Men Have Said To Me Instead Of Hello
I go into detail about what this collection is all about on the collection overview page, but if you haven’t seen that you can read the description in the accordion below - click the + sign.
-
If you have spent any time in my company over the last six to eight months, you will have heard me talk about my latest collection, Things Men Have Said To Me Instead Of Hello.
The collection comprises 10 pieces inspired by things actual men said to me instead of hello during a period of online dating in my mid-thirties. I took screenshots of the most heinous, graphic, and creepy openers and, although at the time I wasn’t sure what I was saving them for, the idea for this collection arrived a few years later.
The purpose of bringing these ‘greetings’ (if you can call them that) into the light is not to demonise men, and paint them as predatory monsters in contrast to the delicate saintliness of women eyeroll. It’s to open the floor for discussions about the patriarchal waters we are all swimming in, perpetuate, and, to a greater or lesser degree, are complicit in.
I want to provoke discussions about rape culture, the male gaze, beauty standards etc etc, and explore all the ways in which we all benefit or are hindered by the status quo. Most importantly, I want you to join me in the horrified realisation of how NORMAL we’ve made all of these things.
When I’ve told people about this collection, the responses from women and men are vastly different. The women know immediately what I’m referring to, and usually respond with some related (horror) story, delivered in the blasé manner of someone who has been dealing with this shit her whole life (because she has).
The men on the other hand, range from absolutely horrified, to knowing stuff like this happens but only in an abstract kinda way, to (on one memorable occasion) asking me if any of the ‘Men’ I’m referring to have ever mentioned my “great tits” - I kid you not.
I’m not going to go into all of the ways that the patriarchy is a problem for men as much as it is a problem for women (and I’m aware that I’m leaning into the gender binary here for simplicity’s sake, but really it’s a problem for ALL of us), but suffice to say that we can’t make things better unless we can see, identify, and name the problem.
This collection is my contribution to bringing these open secrets into the light.
The Void
The lettering on this piece says ‘DTF?’, which, if you are blissfully unaware of modern dating parlance (you lucky thing), means ‘down to fuck?’.
Oh how fortunate I am to be seduced by such a man. A man so efficient and goal-oriented he has eschewed the tiresome spelling out of complete words in favour of the far more expedient truncation to the bare essentials.
What more is needed, dear reader?
This is clearly a man who has such a great breadth of experience in the fine art of romance that he has been able to hone his approach, distilling it down to its very essence.
What talent, what artistry, what an easy man to block.
This ‘greeting’ is such an absolute conversational (and emotional) void, I wanted its representation to feel like staring into a black hole, hence the black on black on black.
The text is only defined by texture and (ironically) light, which means that you have to get up close to it in order to distinguish what it says. In essence, this piece forces you into an intimate relationship with it, much like the sender of this message.
I love the way the different textures of this piece play off each other - the sparkle of the acrylic stones against the rough, bumpy vintage canvas, encircled by the hard, shiny lacquer of the frame. The points of light trick the eye, and in the end just reinforce the inky black of the void.
The final flourish, though, is a thin line of gold beading around the inner edge of the frame. Because even in this conversational cesspit, we must remember that the words of men are important, elevated. They carry weight, even when that weight is… well, this.
See the rest of the pieces in this collection below.
